


The Tales of Loki Olafson

by PurpleMoon3



Series: Thor Kinkmeme [5]
Category: The Almighty Johnsons, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adoption by AU Pantheon, Axl is the BEST Odin, Community: norsekink, Fellowship of the Loki's, Gen, Non-Season Three Compliant, Surfing solves problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMoon3/pseuds/PurpleMoon3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki crashes down during Axl's coming of age ceremony and is adopted into the Johnson clan.  Drabbles from the 'Verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Olaf Hugs

Loki stared down at the little slips of paper that had just been dumped in his hand. Baldur was rifling through the spirit cabinet, again, lost in his own little oracle world.

There was the picture Fulla had taken, and beside that, proclaiming for all the world beside his basic physical stats, Loki Olafson.

"It's just," Baldur commented as he juggled three bottles and two cups. "I have to get my own redone every other decade or so, and I figured since you'd need a passport if you still want to go with Anders- Oof!"

Loki was not crying as he very carefully checked the God Reborn for hidden weapons. And he didn't sniffle as Baldur carefully set the drinks on the bar and began patting his head, distracting them both with Tales of The Perfect Wave.


	2. Lightning Strikes Twice

Loki had curled in on himself after he fell. It was easier not to see the endlessness of the Void like that, and if he pressed his hands to his ears he could at least hear his own heartbeat.  
  
He drifted, folded up like a frightened child for what felt like eons, wondering why he wasn't yet dead, when something slipped past him in the Void. It darted like a fish, scales flashing lightning on the edge of his perception, and for a moment Loki was put into the mind of his younger self sitting at his fa- at Odin's feet.  
  
Had they, had he come for him...?  
  
It was going away. Leaving him alone. Again. Loki reached out with a mewling cry of, "Da!"  
  
Loki threw himself after the trail of energy that cut through the Void, and it was with crying relief that the boy was caught up in the scything energy's wake and carried out of the Nothing.  
  


* * *

Shivering, and feeling slightly woozy and crispy with the smell of ozone in his nose, Loki looked up from the pine-needle covered forest floor. There was smoke, voices, and at his side he could sense the heavy air of power that Odin carried like barely tamed wolves.

  
Except Odin giggled, and sounded far younger than Loki remembered. "What a rush! Am I god now? I feel like a god!"   
  
The AllFather bounced on his toes, and Loki cringed away from the red-hot sword in his hand. Was this how he was to die? In a forest, buried in an unmarked grave?   
  
But instead Odin jumped away with a cry of, "You're naked!"  
  
"So are you!" Loki glared pointedly and crossed his arms, trying to keep his composure as Sif's son -appearing far older than last Loki saw the boy- marched over.   
  
Ullr's eyes glinted at him, considering, before he barked out, " _Grandad!_ "


	3. A Legitimate Strategy

Axl dropped his book bag by the door and headed for the kitchen. He had to stop in the den, because a big, black dog -wolf?- with a coat badly in need of a brushing was sprawled out blocking the refrigerator. It seemed eerily familiar, tickling something at the back of Axl's skull. Loki, curled up a tatty old bathrobe on the couch, was playing on Axl's X-box and using the microphone earpiece to compliment the opposing team on their complete lack of skill or tactics.

"Loki." Axl calmly said as the wolf in his kitchen looked away from the television and started thumping his tail happily. "Why is Zeb a wolf?"

"Because he wanted to be one...?" Loki's head swiveled toward Axl, words hesitant as he gave a tentative little smile as though he expected to be kicked. Axl glanced back to Zeb, who got up, yawned wolfy yawn revealing sharp, wicked teeth, and then padded over grinning a wolfy grin. Axl scratched Zeb's ear out of an instinct that was a habit. "'Cause, that's what he's always saying. He wanted to be the Freki to your Odin...? It's not permanent, if that's what your worried about."

Axl couldn't help it. He pressed his hands to his stomach and burst out laughing.

Loki's answering smile grew to encompass half has face as he turned back to his game.


	4. Pantsless United

"No naked people showed up when _I_ got my powers. I feel cheated." Bragi complained.

Loki exchanged unsettled glances with Ullr before the younger -older?- god shook his head and purposefully glanced around the clearing.

"Olaf!" The god of games declared. "He's family oracle, he'll know what's going on...?"

Bragi gestured off to the side, "He was standing right there."

"Well he's not standing now." Hod grumbled as all four of the other gods began searching for their missing member. Loki winced as he uncurled, trying not to think about the endless absence that was the Void he'd finally escaped from. "Olaf!"

"Olaf!" Odin called, the sound vibrating against Loki's skull, and the trickster had to wonder how the others couldn't _feel_ it.

"Olaf!"

"Grandad!"

"Wha- what's that?" Hod's voice wavered slightly as he pointed, and Loki shivered as the temperature dropped several degrees. He didn't remember much about Hod. The man had visited court once or twice, but fa- _Odin_ had always found something for Loki to do that kept him from the palace during those visits.

Loki stood and stumbled only to be caught by the younger Odin. There was a smoking body down a small hill and on some unseen signal all the gods headed for it. Loki found himself being dragged along, but he didn't really mind. Odin's aura flickered at his side and wrapped around him like a blanket.

"Olaf!" Ullr reached the man first, kneeling down, and Loki felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach.

_Baldur._

It didn't matter that the god was in some kind of trance, that he was speaking ancient gibberish even the AllTongue had trouble translating, or that he was bald and looked so different. Different was _good_. Because apparently different was _alive_. Loki hovered on the outside of the little huddle, biting his fist and fighting back tears because his _friend_ wasn't dead.

"Is that god language?" Odin asked in a bright, curious tone.

Bragi glanced back at Loki before turning his attention to the downed god. "It's like that time he took peyote and thought the neighbor's cat was Loki."

Loki jumped at the mention of his name and fought to compose himself. It was true he dabbled in shape-shifting, but he hadn't done it in centuries. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd become a cat...

"Who's Loki? Is he a god?"

"Yes." Ullr answered.

"So am I Loki?"

"No!" Loki shouted, emotions bubbling over. "You can't be Loki because I'm Loki!"

"But I am a god, right?" Odin asked his fellow nudist, and Loki made an inarticulate gurgle.

Ullr turned, pointing at Odin. "Yes, Axl, you are a god." He then moved his fingers to jab at Loki. "You, I'll question later. Axl, keep the sword handy, yeah?"

"Hey, Axl." Bragi said, and Loki had to wonder if this was one of those times where Odin walked the earth in mortal guise because at the moment it was about the only thing making sense. Normally such disrespect to the AllFather was Not Tolerated. "Any chance you could put your pants on and be a pants on god?"

Odin crossed his arms petulantly, and Loki got the impression he only responded as such because it was _Bragi_ who said it. "Well, Loki's not wearing any pants, and I wouldn't want him to feel left out."

Baldur finally blinked back into the present.

"Olaf. Are you okay?"

The god of rebirth and prophecy croaked out, "Odin."

Thunder rumbled in the sky.

Odin leaned in and sniffed at Loki. "Why do you smell like pie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is Canon, according to Olaf the Wise per 2.19, that to those with the power to perceive it Dwarfs smell like meat/gamey and Giants put one in the mind of a bakery.


	5. The Other Tenth of the Law

Sometimes Axl hated being the responsible, mature one. But it wasn't like he could just skip out on his duties and throw a _it's not fair_ tantrum, especially when he seemed to be the only god around who actually cared about what happened to them as a collective species and family. He didn't particularly want his brothers (except maybe Anders) to die in a horrible volcano explosion or something.  
  
To be fair, Ty and Mike often had their own problems and Axl stopped processing Olaf's advice when his grandfather had pulled out the string cheese and parfaits in an attempt to demonstrate the construction of the multiverse. What everything boiled down to was that their friend, Loki who was not _Loki_ but was still _Loki_ (it had made sense at the time), had been, as Stacy and Ingrid reported, kidnapped by a _Thor_.   
  
And everyone knew how _Thors_ felt about giants. Even little ones. Who constantly smelled like blueberry pies and always managed to steal the last beer.  
  
Axl really hated being the responsible one sometimes. Because, apparently, being responsible meant he had to grow breasts.  
  
And the damn things bounced too much.  
  
Useless Genderist Stick of Uselessness.  
  
"Ready?" Eva -Hel- asked as she bounced in her leather boots, caressing her Knife of Choice where it rested in the purple and black belt sheath that Loki had made for it.   
  
"As I'll ever be." Axl murmured while Olaf finished placing the combined stones of the Johnson and Gunderson families. His granddad then jogged to stand with their little raiding party.   
  
Colin stood outside the circle, arms crossed and eyes hard. "Oi. Take care of my daughter, Tyrone Johnson. And you, Axl Johnson, bring that little bugger back in one piece, right?"  
  
Axl nodded and closed his -currently her- eyes. He raised the stick and thought, _We need to find Loki. We need to go to Loki._ He felt a sudden rush of heat, the branch of Yggdrasil squirmed in his hands like a startled cat, and when he opened them again they were pointedly _not_ in the woods.  
  
There was gold. Everywhere. And people in very shiny clothing.   
  
Spears were suddenly pointing at them and Axl was vaguely reminded of his fever-dream when the Kiwi gods were all beating each other to bloody pulps with mallets. Eva had drawn her knife, Ty was backing up his girlfriend and causing everyone's breath to mist, and Olaf was- "Grandad!"   
  
Axl reached out, trying to stop the oracle, but Olaf was a man on a mission.  
  
With his particular habits and laid-back attitude, it was hard to remember that the incarnation of Baldur had once been a soldier who'd seen War.  He mounted that shiny-gold dians like he was storming a trench. The god of light and rebirth dodged around guards and slipped up the steps with god-like speed, used his Foresight to see the bolt of magic energy before it fired, and leaned seething into the personal space of an old, one-eyed man.  
  
The man lifted an aged hand as if he wanted to touch Olaf's cheek, to stroke it like a very missed, precious thing.  
  
Olaf ignored the susurrus breaking out. "Where. Is. My. Son." It was not a question. The old man took a breath and seemed to grow in size, voice like a rock, Olaf's anger nothing more than wind against a mountain.  
  
"And who are you that may enter Asgard unchallenged, and thinks to demand a child of me?"   
  
Axl frowned. He took took a step forward and tapped the rough-hewn stick against the marble floor with finality. He tried not to think about the borrowed sun dress he was wearing or the heels that were far, far too easy for him to walk in. He tried to think about the Shakespeare unit they did in school but then he remembered how badly he failed the test and fought back a wince.  How was to know the question about Hermione wasn't a trick-question referencing Harry Potter?  

" _I_ am Odin AllFather, Lord of the Aesir, and _that_ is my Grandfather, Baldur the Bright. We also have with us Hel, Queen of the Underworld, and her beloved, my brother, Hod, god of all things Dark and Cold. Yea, Hod. We seek Baldur's son, my blood-brother, Loki of Auckland. Now. Give us the giant or we get medieval on your ass."  Axl straightened his back and tried to look intimidating, but all he really did was draw attention to his generous clevage.  
  
"The four of you?" Someone sneer-laughed. "For that jotunn traitor?"  
  
"Looks more like an All-Mother to me," Another added.  
  
Axl grit his teeth and instinctively held out his hand. The golden spear jerked out of the old one-eye's hand and flew into Axl's. He whipped it around causing a beam of energy to lance out and dig smoking, gaping holes into the golden walls. Point made, he growled as Eva laughed and an entire banquet table worth of food began decomposing. Someone slipped on a patch of ice that wasn't there before, armored butt crashing to the ground.  
  
Olaf's voice rumbled out. "What have you done with _my Loki_."


	6. The Crimson Tide

They had reached an uneasy peace. _Very_ uneasy. The air was so thick with hostility and tension Axl thought he could float in it. And it didn't help that even _he_ , supposedly the only god who didn't have any noticeable god powers, felt the odd charge that snapped along his bones, energizing him from the deep wells that came from being in Asgard. Eva had actually jabbed her knife at Valkyrie Barbie -Axl didn't know what else to call a woman who ran around in such figure-flattering _pink_ armor- and caused the organic bits of her clothing to rot off. Which was new, and good to know, and VB really shouldn't have said that about their friend.  
  
Family issues were a sore spot for Eva. Especially when it came to abandonment and accusations of insanity or monstrousness.  
  
"Loki!"   
  
The shout dragged Axl's attention away from the woman with the cats -freaking freaky cats, too- to see their friend being led by a blonde with a hammer -the kidnapper- and an escort of bristling, armed guards. As the armed men parted to reveal Loki, Axl could hear distant screaming echoing in his ears. Loki did not look well. It had only been three days for them, but it must have been longer for the giant... he did not look well.  
  
Axl barely registered Olaf wrapping his arms around the silently crying brunette. He didn't hear Ty pushing toward Loki, face closed off as all the Kiwis ignored the calmly stated, "The chains are resistant to magic, and cannot be removed by any but the AllFather."  
  
Ty-as-Hod reached out to cradle Loki's face. Ty's pupils had expanded to fill his eyes and his whisper cut through the room like a cold wind. "Hey, little ice-bro. 'Bout time my powers were good for something, yeah?"  
  
Axl didn't hear the sharp cracking as his brother froze-off the supposedly immovable muzzle, revealing the jotun-blue skin beneath, for Axl was Odin, God of Wisdom and Magic. Odin: God of War. Odin: God of Battle and Beserkers.   
  
Axl had stopped thinking, but he kept moving, falsely delicate hands whirling the cutting of Yggdrasil like a stave.

* * *

  
"...please, please stop. Axl. Please."  
  
There was blood on his hands. His _manly_ hands. He wondered how it had gotten there. He blinked, and the crimson leaked from his vision until all that was left was that which stained his fingers. Wide, grim, fear-filled blue eyes were staring at him. Something cold-yet-warm was wrapped around his waist.  
  
"Please, Axl. Brother. Please, I'm okay. Don't kill him..."  
  
Axl blinked again, slowly, as the sounds of the world rushed back in. Loki was clinging to him, the awful gag gone but the scars from it still present, eyes equally wide and red and panicked and... "You never call me Axl..."  
  
Loki shuddered, pressing his frost giant face into the ripped tatters of the dress.   
  
"Can we go home?" His voice was muffled as he spoke, breathe tickling Axl's suddenly aching side. The youngest Jonson moved back from the beaten man and tried to remember what Gaia had said about impalements. He couldn't remember how a spear head broke off into his thigh, but it was starting to sting. His whole body was starting to feel like one big, walking bruise.  
  
"C'mon, boys." Olaf called with a small, old, and very tired smile. He had what looked like a sledgehammer on crack propped on his shoulder. "There's a hot tub and a bottle of vodka with our names on it."  
  
No one stopped them.


	7. Letter Versus Spirit

Brother.   
  
Thor sat amongst the ruins of what had once been the greatest hall of Asgard and contemplated the word. He rubbed at his still-healing arm as he thought about how _brother_ had fallen so easily from Loki's lips when faced with the raging form of the Other Odin. Thor did not shudder at the memory of his Not Father standing over him, Odinforce snapping through the air like a wolf's jaws, but instead felt a great weight settle over his heart. When was the last time Loki had called Thor as such, and with that bone-deep sincerity?  
  
Thor could not remember. Certainly not since they were small, hiding behind golden pillars and running through orchards.  
  
But he could remember the way the Other's face had twisted in rage and grief. How the berserk rage -a legend told of Odin taken only half-serious even in Asgard- had overcome the Other in defense of his... brother.   
  
Fandral was blind, having his eyes frozen in their sockets. Hogun was still confined to the healing chambers. Sif was... Sif was alive, and mobile, but refused to leave her rooms out of shame. Her face was scarred even with healing, though it did not detract from her beauty. Thor had never realized just how vain she was until now.  
  
Brother.  
  
When had Thor ever defended Loki with such passion, instead of insisting he could defend himself, or joining in on the jibes and laughing with... at... his little brother? Loki had dived in, risked his own life against the unrelenting rage of an Odin in the midst of a killing madness, with no thought to himself.  
  
No, Thor thought with shame, he never really had a brother. A battle-companion at best and a servant at worst, but he'd never given thought to want Loki wanted as he'd done for even the Warriors Three. He had assumed, after discovering Loki in another Realm on Midgard, that the Mischief God was there to sow chaos and discord because of Thor. That he was playing with the mortals because he knew doing such would hurt the Thunderer.   
  
But the Tree did not revolve around Thor.  
  
"It is forbidden to go there." Frigga whispered as came to sit by his side. "It is _death_ to go there."  
  
Thor pressed the break in his arm, the memory of snapping bone sharp, and sighed. "I know, mother. I know."


	8. Never Admitting Defeat

Loki has come to two conclusions. Either he his mind has shattered, and he is locked away in a cell in Asgard while he filters all his experience and dilutes it down to the fantasy that is Auckland, or he has somehow slipped through the roots of Yggdrasil itself into one of the unrealized realities. A very, very far away and unlikely unrealized reality.  
  
Perhaps far enough that not even the AllFather's -but not Loki's father- considerable influence can reach. Either way, Loki thinks he might like it. Even if in truth he is a drooling mess stashed away with all of Asgard's other dark secrets.   
  
Loki curls up with his beer close to his chest, and _glares_ at the god across from him. "I. Hate. You." He hisses as the blind god grins and takes Loki's knight, effectively check-mating the frost giant.  
  
"God of Games." Ullr states with a smug little grin as he pulls off the blindfold and takes a shot for himself. "You asked."  
  
Loki had. The Ullr he remembered had been young yet, a champion of the archery range and a hunter but not quite warrior material. Truthfully, a bit of a let-down to his mother but Ullr preferred spending time in the woods, building things, than the blood of the battlefield.  
  
Ullr had since beat him at cards, four different video games, checkers, snakes and ladders, and now chess. He had even, somehow, won a game of _connect four_ in three moves. It shouldn't have been physically possible.  
  
Both god and giant looked up in surprise as the door creaked open and a mortal bounced in. Zeb had a bag of burgers in one hand and long, thin box in the other. "Gods! Giants! May I present _Cluedo_."


	9. Dance Like No One's Watching

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before _The Other Tenth of the Law_.

There were no golden walls or soft, plump, sinfully luxurious beds. There were no feasts with juicy, dripping meat or songs of victory ringing around the hall. Since his fall, Loki did not even have a hearth-fire to call his own, never mind a land or liege. But there _was_ sun warmed, gritty sand under his palms and the tinkling of tiny metal cymbals and bells. The world was his hall and the starry night his roof.  
  
Instead of a fireplace that roared like a beast he sat beside a small flame that crackled and sparked like a mischievous child.  
  
Baldur and Snotra are dancing like fools on the other side of the fire, one giggling as the other tries to sing a chant in the Old Tongue that Loki thinks might be about giants and clouds and wrestling matches with time. Their feet fly, the anklet of bells Snotra wears chiming to the mellow back drop of waves. There is no one watching. No one but a few mortals who play at their own revelry. There are no courtiers watching with wagging tongues. No one to judge them.  
  
"Dance with us!" Baldur cries out as he takes a bit of rolled of leaf from behind an ear and lights it with the glowing end of a twig. "All that brooding is killing the vibe!"  
  
Loki cannot remember the last time someone asked him to dance outside of a formal setting where it was required. He can't remember the last time outside life-or-death trials that someone gave him a hug simply because they could. Even his brother preferred manly forearm clasps or slaps on the back.  
  
Snotra places an odd blue mushroom on his tongue and leads him to the dance floor, such as it is, and the world spins around them as Baldur teaches them the words to a song about goats and tinkers.


	10. It's a Kind of Puberty

Loki yawned as he passed through the, yet again, unlocked tavern door. It was still early morning and he'd spent the night at Fulla's place, teaching her the basic magic theory he'd learned at the knee of her otherself. The trickster had a soft spot for the handmaiden that had more-or-less raised him while Frigga attended to the duties of the court.  
  
"Morning Ullr, Sjöfn," Loki greeted the Master and Current Mistress of the House first. Then he bobbed his head to the two blondes. "Allfather. Bragi,"  
  
"Woah, woah!" Odin exclaimed, rounding on the jotun. "How'd you know it was me? Ty didn't even... did you do this, Loki? Is it a prank? Ha-ha, very clever, but I'd like my dick back now, thanks."  
  
Everyone was staring at him. Loki sighed and put his as-yet unopened bottle back into the fridge. "As much as I'd like to take the credit, Odin, it wasn't me. This is you. _All_ you. It's a kind of magical puberty. I remember the time I woke up as a..." Loki trailed off and firmly boxed off the memory of a very strong stallion, then perked up as he and Sjöfn shared a conspiratorial glance. "You know what this means? _Shopping!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those up on their AJ, this bit took place during 2.5 _A Damn Fine Woman_ and before Axl and Co. went haring off to rescue Loki from the _other_ Norse Gods.


	11. Dimensional Confusion

Getting back to Auckland from Asgard was a bit more complicated than the going had been. Before, Axl had been able to focus on his Need to rescue Loki. He had been able to, in a way, lock onto the signal that was his midget of giant blood-brother and trace it all the way through the Cosmic Confusion to Alternate!Asgard where he was a creepy old man in a skirt and had more money than God if the gold painted everything was any clue. Getting home was harder.  
  
He thought about his family, but the idea of having to deal with Anders' shenanigans made him Need to stay away. Likewise, the verbal sparring between Mike and Colin was always headache inducing.  
  
He also had a final coming up in a week that he was by no means ready for.  
  
"This." Olaf said as he pushed his sunglasses high onto his forehead. He peered into the distance. "Is not Aukland."  
  
Beside the incarnation of Baldur, Loki frowned and followed his father's gaze. "Why is that man wearing his underwear on the outside?"  
  
Eva giggled and Ty shrugged. "I'm more curious as to how he's able to fly. _That_ is a god-power worth having."  
  
Axl, also known as the AllFather Odin, sighed. Loki not knowing he could understand, but Ty? A god-like alien in red and blue touched down. "Greetings, I am Su-"  
  
Axl shook his head. "Yes, yes, Mr. Kent. Could you possibly point us in the direction of the nearest dimensional portal thingy-ma-jig?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes our game of catch-up with what is posted on the meme. Anything that may be posted in the future will be AU for The Almighty Johnsons because the finale of Season 3 disappointed me. One can only hope Collin has a trick or three up his well tailored sleeves.
> 
> Special thanks to alessandra_c from the meme who wrote her own fanclip for this verse. It is adorable! Check it out [here.](http://norsekink.livejournal.com/10823.html?thread=23582535#t23582535)


End file.
